Nowhere girl

nowhere girl you're living in a dream,
nowhere girl you stay behind the scenes,
nowhere girl you never go outside,
nowhere girl cause you prefer to hide.

Obsessions

When I was 14 a girl at my school showed me the picture of Richey with the word '4 REAL' carved on his arm with a razor blade.She told me that he did that because a journalist questioned his band's authenticity. I didn't know anything about the band yet but the fact that he reacted like that fascinated me.
A year later my best friend moved house and she had to go to a different school.I didn't have any other friends and spent most days at school by myself listening to my discman at the girls toilets.I was forced to go on a school trip where I had to be on a bus for 6 hours with all the people from my school that I hated.Nobody sat next to me so everyone kept asking me if they can leave their coats on the empty seat next to mine.After an hour my discman batteries died and I was left there with nothing to do sitting next to a pile of coats.The other kids where listening to really annoying Greek pop music very loud.I really didn't want to be there.I don't know why but I started crying.The same girl that showed me the Richey picture saw me and asked me what was wrong.She gave me her batteries for my discman and she also gave me Generation Terrorists to listen to. For the rest of the trip I was listening to it while I was looking at the pictures and reading the lyrics from the booklet. The music was so powerful and the lyrics were like nothing like I've heard before.I felt kind of ashamed and stupid because I couldn't really understand most of them.There were a lot of things mentioned in the lyrics that I didn't know.I was the worst student in my class and I was generally not interested in learning anything that the school 'forced' me to. I was more interested in things that I chose to learn.The lyrics also reflected the loneliness and emptiness that I felt but they did it in a way that made me want to do something to express my sadness and anger rather than just sit there depressed and do nothing.

We've never changed for anybody.Once people realized there was such a band as us, playing honest, straight-up rock 'n' roll,they came to us.They're all people our age fed up with dance and techno music.They're the 'blank generation' in that they come to us without any history to judge us by.
                                                                                               Richey James Edwards, 1992

Inspirations

Mary Ellen Mark Photography

I have been obsessed with these Mary Ellen Mark images and Streetwise for almost a year now. I am drawn to the raw reality of those young adolescent lives. Also I am fascinated by the irony of the fact that everyone in Hollywood and elsewhere became so interested in their lives after the documentary was released but shortly afterwards they forgot about them and the kids lives remained the same.

My exhibition

Candid Arts,Angel,EC1V 1NQ,London 14th of September-19th of September

asleepteenagerdrugsrunningdesertedretrofuturisticspace

I can't stop playing this song

I always loved Dakota Fanning and I've always been jealous of her acting abilities.Even though she naturally doesn't look as tough as the real Cherie Currie she gave a great performance in 'The Runanways'.I loved this scene most of all because it shows Cherie before she joins The Runaways,when she wasn't that confident and hadn't even realised that she wanted to be a performer but she still wasn't afraid to perform like this in front of the whole school.She just lives in her own glitter world and she doesn't care.

Sleepless

After not sleeping properly for so long my face started deforming.I constantly have bags under my eyes and I always look tired.Also my eyes look like they're going to fall out of and my face looks thinner.I took pictures of myself when I couldn't sleep and pictures pretending that I was sleeping and then I did drawings of them.